The holidays are a trying time, now in a pandemic, and even more so when you lose a loved one. The first year a loved one is gone is completely different- the first Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, etc. without your loved one around or calling you.
Last year we shared 14 ways to cope with grief during the holidays and we wanted to hit on those again.
- Realize this year will be different. Don’t compare this holiday with the nostalgia of past holidays. Acknowledge that the holidays may not be the same as those in the past.
- Expect emotions to intensify. Accept the likelihood that the holidays may be painful.
- Plan ahead. Pace yourself. Set realistic limits and lowed expectations. It is okay to say “no” to things like sending cards, decorating, and buying gifts.
- Be flexible and patient to yourself and others.
- Tell others what you need. Others may not know how to help you and need to be told what to do. Communicate your needs!
- Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel.
- Remember your physical needs. Don’t abandon healthy habits like exercising, eating right, and getting plenty of sleep.
- Make new holiday rituals. When you do things differently, it tells others that your life is different. Light a candle, walk, pray, or do whatever feels right for YOU!
- Honor traditions. Let family know what traditions are meaningful for you and which are painful. It is okay to let some traditions go.
- Take 5 minute “mini mental breaks.” Sit down, practice deep breathing and simply close your eyes. Alternatively, go for a walk, listen to music, or meditate.
- Stay involved. Meet together as a family and share what each needs to make these holidays special and be willing to change the normal routine. In 2020, please be sure to follow COVID guidelines to keep yourself and family members safe.
- Lean on your faith (or family) for strength. Touch base with your spirituality (or family members if you are not spiritual). Both can bring comfort, strength, peace, and wisdom. Explore what gives your own life meaning.
- Remember to remember. Celebrate the memory of your loved one in a way that helps you cope.
- Find moments of joy. Remember that your loved one would want nothing but your happiness over the holidays. Don’t feel guilty to laugh, joke, or find joy in the simple things.
In addition to 14 ways to cope with grief during the holidays, we wanted to re-share Thomas Emerson’s video on bereavement support and grief. For those who do not know, Thomas is one of our Chaplains and our Bereavement Coordinator. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4GI0X-IBhg
Holidays can be hard, here at St. Anthony’s we want to make them a little easier for you! We offer bereavement support for 15 months after your loved one passes away! We also take referrals anytime- day or night- and visit patients anytime a need arises outside of their scheduled visit. Give us a call at (270) 826-2326 to see how we can help you or a loved one.
